Owls In The Roof



Work last week began the same way it always did; I was up at seven and out of the door by eight with a tea to go, white, no sugar. The tea to go has become a sort of luxury since I received a flask for Christmas, before I used to have to juggle an average sized mug, visibly over-filled whilst driving as it only ever managed to fit in the cup holder on a slant. Inevitably, there was always more tea in the van than in the cup… Or my stomach for that matter.


However, less about the tea! It was early last week that I was woken before my alarm went off. Now, I'm a light sleeper and so it's not unusual for me to be woken by strong rain against the window or someone wandering around the house. What was unusual was that it wasn't the weather or a little monster around the house, it was the phone. I didn't get up in time to answer the phone; I assumed that they would call again if it was important. Although, it did get me thinking.

Who was it?
Was it important?
Now there's no chance of me going back to sleep.

Rising out of bed, I scrambled to find my balance in the dark, as I fell over yesterday’s clothes and a pile of fresh laundry. There and then, I vowed to put the laundry away when I arrived home from work (though I knew I probably wouldn’t.) Pulling my legs through the mess on the floor, the thought of a morning coffee was all I needed to get myself down the steps.

As I picked the kettle up from the stand and turned to the sink, I gazed out of the window into the garden, It was still dark and there was not much to see other than what appeared to be the remnants of an old bird nest, the twigs were scattered across the garden path but It looked abandoned. For a while the noise of the running water and children getting ready for school faded. I wondered if next doors cats had knocked the nest out of the tree, Bobby was always prowling through the gardens of every one on the street. He looked around the gardens as if each were colonies to add to his empire. As if he was on a property programme picking and choosing which garden would work for him. Bobby wouldn’t make a sound but you could tell what he was thinking in the way he pranced around the garden. He embedded his paw prints in the mud and proceeded to destroy any personality the previous owners had added, this included rolling on the flowers and digging through the pebbles on the drive.

A burning sensation seeped through my thoughts. Boiling hot water was over flowing, gushing down the the outside of the kettle and drowning my hand. I wondered what sorcery Bobby had cast upon me to allow him into my thoughts and distract me from the most import job of the morning. After that I didn’t give much thought to Bobby or his early morning antics. I justified my lack of interest by reminding myself two things: It was too early, and I hadn’t even had my coffee yet. This made me feel a little less guilty about the madness that had taken place the night before in my very own garden.

Before I could sit down at the desk my phone began to ring again. Now I was fully awake I noticed it didn’t sound the same as usual. The call wasn’t as loud or nearly as high pitched as I recalled. I dismissed this thought thinking, the children must have landed their hands on my phone again. My theory was then proven almost one-hundred percent bomb proof as the search for my phone went on in vein.

Is it in the van? No I’ve heard it this morning Where’ve you heard it this morning?

In the bedroom and just now in the office!

So you’ve heard it in the bedroom and in the office but you haven’t moved it?

My wife looked amused and pointed to the roof.

‘I’ve named him Screech…
They’re coming today
She said Who?

I called Rennie Roofing services; he suspects we’ve got owls nesting in the roof.

I thought my wife was joking, owls were supposed to nest outside. What was it doing in my house? My wife told me she noticed the nest a couple of days earlier and when she began to hear noises she realised the owl must have moved into our house when his house fell apart. Shortly after, I changed my ringtone.

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