Husband Drinks While I Am Pregnant

If you’re reading this, you’re probably doing it because your husband drinks while you are pregnant. I have to be honest with you, that sucks. I know, because I used to drink during my wife’s pregnancy, and I am familiar with the subject.

 

When Your Husband’s Drinking Is Not Cool

I personally believe that it’s a bit unreasonable to ask your husband not to abstain from drinking during your entire pregnancy. Don’t get mad, but I do. 

You see, we men are aware that you have it bad during your pregnancy. We know you would enjoy a glass of wine or a cold beer once in a while, and you can’t drink, and that sucks. But you’re growing a human being in your womb, we’re not. We have no biological restrictions from drinking.

Now, during my time in different support groups, I noticed that most women are alright with their husbands drinking when they’re hanging out with friends or attending social events. What they don’t like is drinking when the couple is spending time at home. And I can totally understand that.

As a society, we associate drinking with enjoyment and relaxation. If your husband doesn’t have a drinking problem and he can abstain from drinking too much, everyone is happy. But seeing him drink a cold one on a hot summer evening is not cool. Why?

Because you would like nothing better than popping one open yourself. I’m OK with husbands drinking when they hang out with friends. Since you’re pregnant, they have a designated driver and they can enjoy themselves as long as they don’t exaggerate. But I’m not OK with them drinking when the two of you are alone.

 

When Your Husband’s Drinking Is Problematic

One of the things I noticed in support groups is that couples who have problems with the husband drinking during pregnancy had a history of heavy drinking before the wife got pregnant.

Usually, the wife stopped drinking the moment she found out she was pregnant, but the husband didn’t. This lead to some friction in their relationship, and it’s totally understandable from my point of view. You might be wondering why.

Well, first of all, both of them might have been addicted to alcohol before the pregnancy. The wife went cold turkey when she found out she was pregnant, and the husband didn’t. Quitting booze abruptly is a very difficult thing to do, but if anyone has the will to do it, it’s a soon-to-be mom.

But quitting booze while your husband carries on with his drinking like nothing’s changed is more than difficult.It might actually be unbearable. The thought of drinking might entice you, and that’s not cool. And seeing him drink might make you feel like you’re missing out on the party, which sucks. 

Should Husbands Drink During Pregnancy?

Now, just because I agree with husbands drinking when they hang out with friends or during social events when their wives are pregnant, doesn’t mean I’m saying they should. They should balance things out.

You know your wife feels nauseated and can’t get out of the bed? Don’t go drinking with your buddies,stay home and tend to your wife!

If your wife wants to go out and see the sights or eat something, you go out with her. But that doesn’t give you an excuse to drink or to get drunk. If your wife wants to see the sights, she doesn’t want to see them with a dumb monkey on her arm.

Husbands should reset their priorities the moment they find out their wives are pregnant. That means less party and more work, no more drinking until they fall asleep on the table, and definitely no drinking when your wife feels sick.

 

When Husbands Should Really Abstain From Drinking

Husbands should quit drinking as soon as their wives become pregnant if they have a difficult pregnancy. You never know when your wife might need a trip to the hospital, so you should be sober at all times.

Husbands should also make sure they’re sober when the pregnancy is close to term. The small human being growing inside your wife should make his or her first appearance on an appointed date, but sometimes the little ones lack patience and they arrive early. You should be sober so you can get your wife to a hospital safely and meet your daughter or son with a lucid mind.

Ultimately, husbands should abstain from drinking if their wives demand it. The wife’s body goes through unbelievable transformations, and she might want the husband to stop drinking because that would make her feel safe. And if your wife’s body is capable of going through all the transformations just so she can deliver your daughter or son, you’re capable of saying no to drinking.

 

How To Deal With Your Husband’s Drinking While Pregnant

I have to admit I was lucky enough to be in my pre-addiction period when my wife got pregnant with our daughter. She didn’t ask me to quit drinking, but she would frown if I drank while we were watching movies or doing something together, so I stopped on my own accord.

But if your husband drinks while you’re pregnant, the best solution is to discuss his behavior with him. Prepare your conversation beforehand. Come up with relevant data such as the amount of money he spends on booze, the number of times when he wasn’t sober so he couldn’t transport you to the hospital, and so on.

Confront your husband when he is sober. Lay down your arguments firmly, but without too much emotion. I know you must be angry, but this should be a discussion governed by reason, not emotion.

If it’s necessary, explain how his abstinence might offer you some form of emotional support. That just being sober makes you feel confident that everything is going to be alright.

 

Limit Your Husband’s Drinking During Pregnancy

Your husband should spend most of your pregnancy sober. In my opinion, infrequent drinking is OK as long as he doesn’t exaggerate. But you should do your best to limit your husband’s drinking if he is a daily user.

Check out the rest of the articles in this series if you want to learn what happens in the mind of an alcoholic. In our next article, we’re going to talk about husbands who drink around newborns.

Stay sober!

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